Top 20 Divorce Indicators

Divorce – The Causes

Following extensive studies involving the monitoring and tracking of hundreds of couples who ended up in divorce – the following 20 behaviors have been identified as those most likely to guarantee divorce (i.e. had a greater than 50% contribution to the divorce).

Behaviors are listed in order - starting with 1 having a 92% direct effect, down to 20 being rated at 51%. Anything that came in below 50% is not listed although doesn’t mean it is an acceptable behaviour.

When two or more behaviors are present you can factor up the worst by 5% each time until you reach 100%.

Top 20 Behaviors Leading To Divorce

1.    Two or more affairs (92%)
2.    Ongoing lying (88%)
3.    Close friendship with opposite sex - confidential talking, texting or meeting that is occurring more than once per week (85%)
4.    Continued defensiveness – never any sharing of blame or responsibility (82%)
5.    Abusive, threatening, behaviors (79%)
6.    Secretive behaviors – not disclosing whereabouts (76%)
7.    Hiding or pass-wording phone, email, etc after trust has been broken (76%)
8.    Excessive drinking or drug taking 75%)
9.    Repeated flirting – including social gatherings, texts or emails (72%)
10.    Differing sexual desire & no compromise (69%)
11.    Physical abuse (67%)
12.    Ongoing arguing – that turns nasty, loud, rude or abusive (65%)
13.    Total lack of intimacy (61%)
14.    Continued thoughtlessness/selfishness & twisting of blame when discussed (61%)
15.    Controlling behaviors – including finances, outings, clothes, planning (58%)
16.    Refusal to be involved with, or socialize with partner’s friends (57%)
17.    Ongoing criticism of partner, partner’s family or friends (56%)
18.    Not engaged & doesn’t help with house or children - always on the computer, watching TV, etc (54%)
19.    Involved in exclusive hobbies or sports – with no involvement of partner (52%)
20.    Had a single affair – physical or emotional – and that person is still present (51%)

Please note that Physical & Sexual Abuse is not included in this list due to their extreme nature and and total unacceptability under any circumstances.

10 Most Common Feelings Experienced

1.    I feel I am always walking on eggshells
2.    Their behaviors are so contradictory and confusing
3.    Arguments are totally confusing – we end up arguing over inconsequential stuff
4.    So often I am made to feel like I have the problem
5.    They oscillate from anger, hatred abuse & criticism to being really calm & loving
6.    When I check up and discover lies or bad behaviors, I am made to feel guilty for snooping
7.    I question whether I am a bad person
8.    I find it hard to believe they really love me
9.    One minute I feel hope, only to have it dashed yet again
10.    I sometimes wonder if I really know this person