Differences Between Men and Women

Scientific and sociological studies have proven that our brains function very differently - we see, think & react differently … and most importantly – we communicate differently.

For 300,000+ years men and women lived in groups leading lives of hunter/gatherers ...  men hunted, protected, bred (& poked the fire). Women gathered food, reproduced & nurtured.

It is only during the last +/-5,000 years have we lived as families – BUT our brains haven’t changed!

To experience a great relationship, these differences must be understood, discussed & allowed for.

However,they are NOT an excuse to behave thoughtlessly or inappropriately.

Men (Hierarchical)                                     Women (Non-hierarchical)

1 Use conversation for information & independence // Use conversation for connection & intimacy
2 Fleeting thoughts and feelings of no value // Fleeting thoughts & feelings establish rapport
3 Listen briefly them move to solution mode  // Want to be actively listened to, not solved
4 Associate blame with discussion of problems  // Subject discussed doesn’t imply problem
5 Subject = problem. Once solved, subject closed // Use problems to express emotional needs
6 See questions as challenges // Ask questions to gather information
7 Change the topic to stay connected (& avoid pain) // Ask questions to stay connected/establish empathy
8 Translate literally what is said // Use language to express importance - e.g. ‘always’
9 Get very upset when hearing hidden disapproval // Ask rhetorical questions 2 express issues thoughtfully
10 Dismiss issues with a positive spin // Require issues to be understood & validated
11 Want to be accepted as they are // Feel a need to ‘help’ improve their man
12 Need to make own decisions about self & situation // Like to jointly discuss self, partner & situations
13 Want to feel ‘needed’ – provider/protector // Want to feel cherished and understood
14 Act or solve when stressed  // Talk and share when stressed
15 Minimise ‘time’ to make partner feel good // Get upset when they hear untruths
16 Use silence to think, or to be just vacant  // Use silence when upset or to express hurt
17 Ritualistic newspaper reading equals connectedness // Reading a newspaper equals being shut out
18 ’Hangs’ with other men yet ’say’ little  // Love to meet, talk and share with friends
19 Contemplate own issues privately  // Like to discuss problems openly
20 Alternate quickly between anger and intimacy // Cannot shift quickly between anger and intimacy
22 Give of themselves to feel wanted/appreciated // Give of themselves to feel worthy
23 Worry about being incompetent …failing  // Acknowledge failure but happily moves on
24 More likely to commit suicide by a factor of 3  // Seek help and discuss problems
25 Suffers domestic brain shutdown // Knows what’s happening & what’s required
26 Suffers domestic brain shutdown  // Knows/remembers when/where things are
27 Think solving a problem equals competence  // Solving a problem equals problem solved
28 Enjoys admiration for simple acts // Acts and moves on, acts and moves on …
29 Minimise, simplify and solve problems linearly  // Consider multiple sources,angles,implications
30 Measure their love on size/importance of ‘gift/s’  // Measure love on quality of ‘gift/s’
31 Don’t try to remember important dates  // Regard act of remembering important
32 Checking plans undermines independence // Checking plans reinforces connection
33 Flick channels for bottom line overview  // Watch one program to understand fully
34 Needs set goals for leisure activities  // Enjoys leisure activities without goals
35 Can’t multi-task away from work // Competently juggle many things at once
36 Need sex to love someone  // Need to love someone before sex
37 Sex = quick release of tension  // Sex = slow build up of tension
38 Drive to ‘perve’ - assess breeding potential  // Observes and appreciates the total person
39 Need to evaluate and understand objects  // Happy to accept things for what they are
40 Go years and never speak to close male friends // Stay in touch continually with close female friends
40 Use 2,000 word per day on average  // Use 7,000 words per day on average

and finally … 

41 HONESTLY don’t know what women want  // HONESTLY don’t know why men HONESTLY don’t know